ive spent so many months just crying over this one person i cannot seem to forget
no matter how hard i try to leave everything behind, i cant, and i start remembering all the memories ive shared with them
i was once able to call them my best friend before i moved schools and we just started to drift apart month after month
its been really difficult for me because not only was this person my best friend, he was also someone i liked on and off for over 5 years
it was so hard for me to login to my social media and see pictures of them and my friends having a nice time, him being around new people esp girls and the hardest of all, seeing me being replaced by one of my ex-best friends
its hurts so much to see how hard she was trying to get close to him and it hurts even more to see how happy they look now that im not there anymore
for over half a year ive been trying to leave this person behind and move on but i really cant
im honestly struggling so hard to forget how important this person meant to me and every so often i get flashbacks and dreams with this person and it horrible to think that i will never be able to have a relationship like this with this person ever again
i have done so much for this person but nothing has seemed to work
the worst part was when he had a girlfriend for the first time, being one of his best friends at the time, he constantly asked me for advice about how to cheer her up or make her feel happy
this honestly broke me so badly you have no idea, no matter how much this hurt for me, i couldnt really reject him at all because i didnt have the guts to reject someone i liked so much, it ended being a downward spiral and i was the one inflicting unhappiness onto myself and i felt horrible, i began crying myself to sleep, causing bruises to my own body and just feeling absolutely horrible about myself
ive never really had the guts to post anything about this online but i really needed to vent and its been stuck in me for so long now, as for now i am still struggling to leave this person behind but honestly i dont think ill ever be able to.
